To be a Mother

When you type mother definition into Google it gives you this definition: noun- a woman in relation to a child or child to whom she has given birth. But then it also states another definition: verb- to bring up a child with care and affection.
I love the second definition it gives, because that is truly what a mother is. A mother isn't someone who merely gives birth to a child, it is someone who loves and raises a child. They take on a divine role when they become mothers. Women do not give up who they are by having children and taking on the role as mother. Society may view becoming a mother as living a half life, because it gives up the ability to make achievements in the work force (Hawkins, 129).
I personally am grateful for the full life my mother lived as a mother as she raised us kids. I do not think that her life was hindered at all in being home with us as we were young and growing. She cared for us each and we all have great relationships with her because we were able to connect at a young age with her. "A critical way that mothers influence development is through the emotion work they perform to maintain and strengthen individual well-being and family relations" (Hawkins, 133).

The purpose of a mother in my eyes is to be one with the Lord as she nurtures and raises His children. Womwn have distinct maternal instincts to care for and love others. The reason for this ability is because the daughters will come home with a broken heart needing a mother to love them, they will struggle with self esteem and they need someone to relate with them. The sons will come home not knowing how to approach a girl and need advice, they will also need to be given confidence when they are unsure of themselves. The children may not openly come to a mother and talk about these things, but it is felt and they are comforted through what the mother says and does.

"In the words of President Spencer W. Kimball, 'Mothers have a sacred role. They are partners with God, as well as with their own husbands, first in giving birth to the Lord's spirit children, and then in rearing those children so they will serve the Lord and keep his commandments' (Hawkins, 130).

Women are selfless and so giving. Mothers spend the day kissing boo boos, washing the dishes, picking up toys, playing make believe, and making food. Those things are done many times a day and every day. The world views these kind of things as monotonous and sometimes we may feel like it gets to bet that way, but we need to remember that we should take some time out for ourselves as well.
"Elder M. Russell Ballard counseled to mothers to find some time for yourself to cultivate your gifts and interests. Pick one or two things that you would like to learn or do that will enrich your life, and make time for them. Water cannot be drawn from an empty well, and if you are not setting aside a little time for what replenishes you, you will have less and less to give to others, even to your children" (Hawkins, 135). 

 "When they see motherhood as a relationship rather than a set or tasks, mother will also recognize the dangers in comparing their mothering with others. A mother will understand that her mothering will be individual because she is giving her best, unique self to her children. The one that that she has to offer is her individual person. Her interests, talents, mind, and all that she has developed become her offering to the relationship she has with each of her children" (Hawkins, 135).

Knowing that we are to give everything we are to our children, it really solidifies that women need a break to do some things for themselves to further develop skills and talents.

To wrap this post up, I want to touch on the fault of comparison and the thief of our confidence in ourselves. Each family is unique because of its circumstance, family dynamics, and personalities. Mothers should not compare themselves or their children with others, because we do not know what things are really like for them. These children are sent to you as a mother for a reason. They NEED you and you NEED them. Motherhood is a calling of responsibility, love, and learning.

Women need to watch out for comparisons in their mothering abilities, but also in their self image and esteem. We need to feel confident in ourselves and in our beauty. We are our harshest critics. But did you know that when you constantly pick at yourself and the way you look, those ideas and thoughts enter into your children. They see you beautifully, and if you think something is wrong with you, they in turn will think something is wrong with them.

This is something that I really struggle with. Logan and I started talking about how I need to be more positive now in preparation for when we do have kids so that I can become confident now. It's so hard in a world that shows the ideal of the cover on the magazines, and that isn't true. The ideal is being beautiful as you!

"Of all the words they could have chosen to define her role and her essence, both God the Father and Adam called Eve "the mother of all living"- and they did so before she ever bore a child... Motherhood is more than bearing children... It is the essence of who we are as women. It defines our very identity, our divine stature and nature, and the unique traits our Father gave us" (Hawkins, 137). 

Any suggestions on building up confidence and self esteem?
Has anyone taught their daughters or sons to have a great self esteem and image? I would love to hear how!!

Sources:
Hawkins