The Duties of a Father

"President Ezra Taft Benson taught that a father's calling 'is an eternal calling from which he is never released" (Hawkins, 140).

The role of a father isn't easily defined. In some cases he is our biggest cheerleader and sometimes he is the one working so hard so we can be a cheerleader or whatever it is that we want to do. Child interactions with fathers may not be as often as with mothers, but they are equally as important.

The Family: A Proclamation to the World gives a clear look at some of the areas that the father is in charge of. It states, "By divine design, fathers are to preside over their families in love and righteousness and are responsible to provide the necessities of life and protection for their families" (Proclamation).
Let's break this down to the 3 P's- preside, provide, and protect. 

For fathers to preside, it does not mean to rule, reign, and make all the decisions, it simply means to be in authority. This allows a father to gather this family together for counsels, family prayer, FHE, dinner, and other times when they need to be together. Once together he can also call upon others and direct the meeting/activity.
Growing up we had an order that we would pray in, but now that it we are always coming and going at different times, my dad is the one who calls on someone to pray or give a lesson in FHE. In our little family Logan is the one who will remind me who needs to pray at meals and at night. Sometimes we struggle to remember to say prayers at night together because usually I'm going to bed before him but he will remind me as he comes in and gets on his knees to pray.

"Abraham Heschel, a leading Jewish philosopher, identified the father as a powerful spiritual figure in the family circle with a moral responsibility to teach and care for his children. He suggested that fathers are meant to be teachers and holy figures in the lives of their children" (Hawkins, 141).

What good does it do for a father to teach a child? A father will work hard all day to provide for the family and maybe his energy is well spent before he even reaches the home, but as he takes time to spend with the kids, their lives will be greatly enriched. Many studies have been done to test the affect that having fathers who are involved in children's lives affected them throughout their life. Children who are in preschool and have had involvement with their father, tend to have greater cognitive ability, more individual control, and more empathy with other children (Hawkins, 142). Just by being involved and having strong positive connections with their children, fathers have the ability to put their abilities ahead of peers.
"As children grow older, positive involvement by fathers is strongly associated with fewer behaviors involving externalizing (negative actions) and internalizing (negative emotions)" (Hawkins, 142).
I have so many fears and worries about becoming a parent and raising kids, but a lot of those fears can be eliminated or lessened by the involvement of a father. Having a daughter terrifies me, because I know how hard it can be to want to be the pretty, popular one, or to want to have boys want to date you. It terrifies Logan because he doesn't want her be promiscuous. I'm scared to raise boys because how do you teach them to stay away from pornography, peer pressure, and everything that can come their way? How do you raise kids when you still feel like you are learning these things?
Those thoughts scare me, but these studies have shown that the likelihood of these things is lessened when the father is positively involved in their life.

When we have kids, I hope to have Logan be a big part of their day and have them look forward to him coming home and getting to spend time with the kiddos. 

Provide- When we are looking for a hotel to stay at while we are traveling, we always look for one where a free breakfast is provided and WiFi is provided. Why do we do that? Because we want to make sure our needs are provided for. Logan and I need to have breakfast to have energy throughout the day and I need WiFi to run a business away from home.
What does a family need provided from a father?
Food, shelter, clothes, and opportunities need to be provided from a father for the family.
"In essence, then, to provide in fathering is to assume the stewardship of meeting children's needs and offering opportunities for their development, as well as dedicating one's time, energy, and resources for the benefit of the next generation" (Hawkins, 145).

As I grew up, I feel like I had every opportunity given to me because my parents were willing to pay to let me try a million different things. I started dancing when I was four years old, was put into summer soccer teams, Jazz basketball, and club volleyball teams. I also was in piano lessons that I did not practice for the way I should have and I regret that now. Because of all these things that my parents let me do, my coordination got better, and it helped me learn new skills and make new friends. I know that they put not only me, but all of my older brothers through different hobbies, sports, and other things just to let us figure out what we liked to do.
A big thank you goes out to my parents for letting me try new things and to always have their support in what I was doing no matter how I terrible I really was.

A father who protects his children not only keeps them out of harms way, but he equips them with the tools they will need to be safe when they are away from him.
This world is full of evil and it's just as full of good. Because we have experienced our own set of trials, triumphs, and victories, we can share those with our children. For fathers it is vital to set an example because the example of an honest, true, courageous, and virtuous father can be enough to buoy up a struggling child without even knowing it. 
"Modeling is perhaps the most powerful method to teaching young people, children are able to learn and acquire habits of behavior that will protect them as they follow a father's positive example" (Hawkins, 147).
Through the example a father sets on how he loves his wife, his daughters can learn how they should be treated and want to be loved. The sons can learn how to respect and treat a woman as well.

My dad is the handiest, handy man I know. He knows just about everything to help fix just about anything. When I was in high school, he took care of my car and I never had to worry because he was going to take care of it. The first time I got a flat tire, he drove into town to change it for me. When I slid off the road on my way to the high school for a basketball game, he was the only person I wanted to come to my rescue. He was my protector. Well, I still don't know how to change tire, but I know how to be strong in the midst of a trial, because he taught me how. I know how to be kind and serve others willingly because he showed me how. I am strong today because my dad protected me, loved me, and gave me the opportunities I needed to grow.

Men, how are you doing on your duties to one day be a father or as a father now?
Women, how are you strengthening and helping me to realize and fulfill their duties?

Anyone have any great ways to really get in the habit of prayers as a couple when one of you goes to bed earlier/later than the other?

Sources:
Hawkins, Print. 140-147.
The Family: A Proclamation to the World
"Love my Mother"